Hi all, this is my first post here. I’m fascinated that this community exists and to know that I’m not alone. Sorry for the long post…
I’ve been working on a project as frontend/backend dev and Tech Lead for the past 1.5 years during which I have a developed a good relationship with the client and have deployed to production several times.
I was recently asked to onboard a new dev into this project as a frontend developer while I was expected to keep working as a backend developer and also as a Tech Lead for this and another project, while also being a part of pre-sales effort for a solution the company is pushing to clients. It’s important to note that all these changes came within 3 weeks of a deadline that apparently can’t be postponed.
When asked to onboard the new dev, I notified my superiors that the velocity of the project would slow down considerably because it’s not easy being onboarded into a project as mature as this one. As expected the new guy has been quite slow and is not delivering as needed. Two weeks have passed and he still has not finished the tasks that were estimated by himself and that should be done by now.
I’ve been sitting down on calls with him to try and get things going but nothing. I constantly feel responsible for this guy’s productivity, and even though I do everything in my power to unblock them and help them it’s not working out. I’ve done everything short of actually taking the work out of his hands and doing it myself. Keep in mind this guy is working out of India and it’s an 11 hour time difference, so I’ve been logging in well before my work hours and usually stay at least one more hour after my day is supposed to be done.
Now it turns out the project manager wants me to actually finish the task so it’s up to me to keep the project on schedule. Even though my deadline is now two weeks shorter…
I’m terribly afraid to fail, I don’t want to let anybody down; but I’m tired. It’s been weeks of overtime work and weekend work and now I’ll probably be expected to do anything and everything to finish what this guy can’t. I’ve been feeling like a horrible Tech Lead, as if I’m incapable of enabling this guy to finish his tasks. No matter what I did he couldn’t make any progress.
This stuff keeps piling on me and I feel worse and worse about my abilities, my productivity and my dedication, even though I’m workin 10 - 11 hour days. I’ve woken up with panic attacks and have been feeling anxious pretty much 24/7.
I don’t know what to do anymore.