I may be duplicating, but I feel I also just want to get thoughts out right now and talk to anyone.
My career has been killed due to a bad company, overwork, panic attacks, and mainly anxiety. Its been a mix. I had anxiety way before this, but due to things, its just gotten worse and worse. My confidence is at a low.
I have developed an intense anxiety around coding anything. Even if I try to just start something, I freeze up. Its kept me from so many potential jobs that I could have liked.
And I desperately need a job. I want to be a good programmer and employee. I want it so bad. Yet, my panic and avoidance are causing major pains. I’ve also been trying to find a company that will be understanding that not every day will be a good day for me. That just a little bit of understanding can go a long way. I freeze up for challenges and technical interviews. I’ve failed technical interviews.
I am on medication, but I don’t know how much it is helping. I’ve been trying to find a new therapist for CBT. I just feel so lost and beaten down.