Exactly one year ago I saw this comment on Reddit to a question titled “How do you find motivation to stop being lazy?”
I never realised how much of a problem my lack of motivation was until I started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist.
That was me. Too lazy to do house chores, too lazy to finish a single project. Angry at myself for being so lazy. The same day I put up the courage to email a psychologist for young adults. I felt so stupid saying “I saw this thing on the internet”. Luckily, she was very understanding.
After the first few sessions, she gave me a task. To try and stop being angry and understand that I’m not abnormal for being lazy. It was hard, but I managed to stop caring about those unfinished projects. I managed to stop caring that I spent a night watching TV instead of being productive. I went about 8 times over the course of 3 months. We concluded that I was better now, and I was really happy. Even though I didn’t take any medications, it was just something in my head, I was glad I was “cured”.
The other thing I seem to have is, I have periods (a few weeks to a few months) where I’m happy, and I have periods where I’m not happy. Not saying I’m unhappy, just not happy. It didn’t look that much like an issue and we thought it might go away when I accepted that being lazy isn’t bad per se.
The past couple of months have been another one of those ‘not happy’ periods. And today I saw the ‘Developers and Depression’ talk. I don’t have these issues of not showing up at work and I don’t feel depressed, but it made me wonder again if I should try to see someone again. The psychologist no longer seems to work where she used to, and I’m not sure if she still does it (her practice at home was a side job). So I thought I could just go to my “home doctor”. But there it is again. I’m really not looking forward to say “I saw this video on the internet”. I’m afraid to make a fool out of myself, like I’m looking for an excuse for my laziness. However, I also don’t really know how else I can start the conversation. Could anyone give me some tips? I’d appreciate it a lot.