I am totally confused and lost, please I need your advice

Hi everyone,

First I must say thanks to whoever created this forum for helping someone like me.

My story is very very very complicated and I wouldn’t call it depression but rather confusion and lost on the right path. I am 28years old working in Web Development (until end of this month) because this month will be my last month working for my current employer.

This is my second job and they pretty much ended the same way “We need a better programmer”, I don’t want to go into so much details but I would rather talk about myself. I think I am not good in programming but I love to and I wish I could do a voodoo to put everything into my head - I have so many dreams of apps I want to code but I just don’t have the brain and I struggle a lot.

The good thing is, when it comes to design, html and css … I’m pretty good (which I know it’s very basic) and all companies needs more than that, so I try to improve my JavaScript, PHP but it is taking me so much time to understand something pretty straight forward. It is not like I cannot write simple function with a callback or make query either with PHP/MySQL or jQuery but I never passed the average level where I can develop a full plugin from scratch or a complex script.

I have been in web design for more than 2 years now and half of it was freelancing until I got the first job a year ago. I prefer learning by discussion, collaboration or in a group but I have being unfortunate and I work mostly by myself (thanks to Google). I also think I am super lazy, I watch movies alooooot because it helps me stop thinking about sad things. I try to be productive as much as I can (stackoverflow, forum e.t.c.) with basic stuffs but I would love to become a JavaScript GURU.

Can anyone suggest what I can, I will give anything even if I have to share my kidney. I want to be a programmer (write stuffs in nodejs, angularjs e.t.c.)… complex applications.

Thanks in advance

1 Like

How long have you been writing code? From your description, you haven’t been coding very long.

I feel this way everyday. I KNOW I am a decent developer even though I don’t feel like I am capable of submitting a pull request to any repo or without building a plugin at all. My greatest desire is to become one of the “gurus” in our community. My advice would be to just keep at it. Read blog posts, get on twitter and just follow your heroes. It doesnt help you learn technique but it helps you humanize the industry and realize everyone feels this way at some point in their life and that its a normal occurence. Even the greats suffer from the lack of feeling successful.

Thats my two cents, even if it didnt help a lot.

If you ever want to coolaborate with someone who feels the same, just to see if we can do it, my github is https://github.com/gvinson and my twitter handle is @grant_vinson.

Can you give us a bit of info about your background ? Have you studied computer science in school or are you totally self-taught ?

I’ve studied computer science for 3 years and I have been working in web development for close to 15 years. Believe me, full stack web development is very hard. If you include big data, server ops and testing in the mix… it’s pretty much impossible.

This is my stack right now:
Front-end: HTML, JS, CoffeeScript, AngularJS, CSS
Backend end: Ruby, Rails, Redis, REST Api

… and i’m not including the tools that I use, server ops, testing etc.

So my advice is this: if you like web design, than focus on the front-end. Good front-end developers are hard to find. If you like HTML, CSS, JS, AngularJS, React or whatever… than focus on that and let other developers handle the backend.

Another suggestion: if you don’t use that site already, I recommend using https://egghead.io for tutorials on JS, AngularJS etc. The lessons are short and to the point… which is great for my ADD. I have no connections with that site whatsoever.

Good luck.