Last time I checked in, I mentioned I was let go (illegally but that’s another story) and was about to accept a job offer.
I was worried about the workload. It’s a small team and the company is pretty much run like a startup. I didn’t know if I could handle it but the salary was so much better that I thought I would give it a shot.
Well it turns out my gut feeling was right. It’s been 6 months since I started and I want to quit.
I have to deal with so many interruptions. I’m a backend developer (ruby, rails) which means that pretty much every issue is somewhat related to my projects.
Our business has a live mobile app (ios and android) used by 80k+ users and there are always issues to deal with every day. The problem is we don’t have a dedicated group for operations/day to day issues. So sometimes there are issues that need to be addressed right away and I have to put my priorities on hold… which means I’m late.
I’ve had a hard time meeting my deadlines and I always feel like people are pressuring me to deliver… asking me for time estimates etc. I’ve had to work late many times and in fact I don’t think I’ve had a regular 40hrs work week in 2 months.
I didn’t take one single vacation day since I joined. I’ve had to delay my vacation because there was simply too many projects to complete.
They have hired 2 developers recently. One is a junior which means I have to help him out and mentor him. The other one is senior and has not lowered my workload so far. Hopefully he’ll catch up soon.
I’ve had a hard time coming to the office before 10am and I live very close.
We use slack and it just doesn’t stop.
I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist at an anxiety clinic and while I understand what triggers my anxiety, I’m totally lost when it comes to deal with it. Sometimes I think I should just stick to the 8hr/day workday and not give a shit but having people pressuring me everyday makes me so anxious I feel forced into a 10-12hrs a day schedule.
I’m a really patient guy but lately I’ve felt so close to completely lose it.
Sounds like you’re being stretched too thin by a sales / marketing team that doesn’t understand how to manage you very well. First things first, start shooting out a resume to other companies. Not many companies have a app with 80k users throwing bugs at their Sr. dev every day. Thats actually fairly uncommon / an extremely bad practice.
Go to a few of the job interviews, get offers. Maybe you’ll see an offer for a job at a small shop run by a Sr. Dev or someone with real experience that you want to work for. Obviously just go for it.
If you get some offers, still don’t want to leave your job, take the offers to your boss and tell him what has to be improved or you walk.
If he tells you to start walking, then you have somewhere to walk to that is going to be a lot better than his mad house. If not, he will listen to you and reform.
@monkeypatching monkeypatching, that sounds really hard. It may not feel like it, but you’re very strong for continuing to push through such a difficult situation.
What kind of treatment are you working on? I know you mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. Are you seeing them primarily for drug therapy, or are you doing “talk” therapy as well? Does this psychiatrist specialize in anxiety disorders? Personally, I have had good luck in seeing a therapist (she’s not a psychiatrist – I see a psychiatrist just to handle meds) and doing Cognitive Behavior Therapy for my anxiety disorder. It has helped immensely in learning new ways to deal with my triggers and how I react to them. What works for you may not be the same, but I’d encourage you to explore non-medication anxiety therapies if you are not already.
It sounds like you have a difficult work situation. How comfortable are you talking with your immediate supervisor about what you need to be more productive and successful? If you aren’t, maybe this isn’t a good match for you. Your health is far more important than any job.
Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Consistent 10-12 hour days are incredibly unhealthy, and demonstrably reduce productivity. If this workplace isn’t willing to work with you for your and their benefit, it’s not a place you should be, probably.