Getting back into the world, for someone benched long enough like myself is very difficult. So for the past year, I’ve been pushing towards opportunities for collaborating online in the open source space. Like many of you, I have a story, and mine too can simply be summarized as
1 + … = 0 according to formulae of the more popular appeal. And so, after a few years of struggling with the non-starter biases in the tech/social space (like meetup) that use one-sized hyperbole to become the one-popular way to be and where you can’t, I decided to venture in the open source space instead.
After a year of a much needed “reorientation” — mainly coming to terms with the world still being the same — I can’t help but feel the same urge I felt a year ago, two… etc — I can’t help but feel like change is necessary.
But I also find myself standing alone — wanting change without being wanted to be around, because I am different, enough to want it in the first place… I want to not feel like my mere presence somehow sufficiently and irrationally threatens their efforts to retain mutually-perpetuated-fake-smiles. I want to not feel like miscommunication is arrogantly a fault that one side gets to shoulder. I want to not feel like difference, illness, or even insanity, is not a fact of life for (all) those attuned to the wavelength of its very own manifestations, this façade that few like us are no longer equipped to consume.
I tried to work within the open space, and the open space was too arrogant and judgemental — and so I came to the conclusion, that we on this side, because of our seemingly rare and unique experiences, know better than to be arrogant and judgemental, but that we also know not enough on how to elicit our own sense of belong — together — with everyone.
I personally have many ideas for affecting change, most of them are not good, some are great… They are all useless, unless they belong to an open space. Maybe there is someone else in the crowd too.
Let’s make dialogue, let’s meet up (online, not in person, is that not meetup too) — let’s at least change one of those “defaults of so called happiness, our suffering”.
FYI: I’m hoping to make it a weekly private online conference call thing for open-source open-mind devs to assimilate strictly on code/tech/life things that will hopefully help in pushing boundaries, safe from the ugly knee-jerk defences of the blissfully-be-called-happy norms — yes you can stay reasonably anonymous (voice only for instance) — yes you can just watch (maybe type hi/bye) — yes you can screen share, present stuff, and even just rant on stuff from the upside-down — yes you can bring your friend, I’ll bring my puppies, and yes you can even bring the boring people kind if properly configured to reality — ie open to hearing about struggles being actually the progressive thing lost from today’s upside-down world.