@monkeypatching I write under a pseudonym, so I’m not worried about people at work coming across it. I’m also careful not to mention real companies or people to minimize overlap. If they were to come across it and know it was me, it would almost be a relief - to not have to hide the depression and PTSD and my “radical” thoughts.
@Mart I definitely have all those fears, which is why I write anonymously. But I think you’ve hit on something close to home with:
@muffinman32 You have also struck something with:
This was why I originally started the articles. I was given feedback at work that I should consider writing technical articles for the company website (as a self-improvement goal). Once I got started writing, I realized I enjoy writing about non-technical things more.
Now that I am writing, I want to be able to share these thoughts with people (thank you all for being my supportive audience). Sometimes, I want to share them with people at work. So there is that disconnect inside me: the wish to give out a link to an article, and the drive to stay hidden and silent.
I also feel like I’m strong enough to deal with the criticism of faceless Internet hordes, but I fear that I may not be strong enough to face the criticism of my peers.
Maybe my paranoia is that I will slip up and my two worlds will collide.
There is another factor that I had not considered, but you guys have me thinking, now. I found this website because of a reference made by Greg Baugues. His ability to speak openly about depression and bipolar disorder, his willingness to put his name and faced out there on behalf of Pele like me, who are still living in fear, inspired me. So instead of putting my name out there, I’m hiding in the background, just online now. I’m ashamed of myself.