Am I just lazy?

I watched developers & depression and decided to ask your opinions…

I was always a ‘smart’ kid in school but also known for being exceptionally lazy where I would finish the given work in half the time and rather sit there doodling for the rest of the lesson rather than getting more done in the allotted time.

In my late teens I took up web development as a hobby and had loads of fun. I never pursued a job in the field as always felt I was not good enough so I decided to bunny hop rubbish jobs which I never held for more than 6 months.

Around the age of 21 my girlfriend of 2 years left me (she used to say I was bipolar a lot when it came to my moods in our relationship) and after 6 months of laying on the sofa every day I went into overdrive and starting hitting the books day and night and within 2 weeks of hitting the books again I applied for first junior development job and happily worked there for 1 year.

Working there for 1 year was the longest job I had, but one day I just decided I was fed up and quit.

My new job means I work from home 3/5 days and in the beginning I was immensely productive… 6 months down the line (which is now) instead of working productively at my work station I am laying in bed writing this.

I know I should get up and get to work, but I also know at the same time I am going to attempt 5 mins of work and just start watching 24 from season 1 or something.

For the last 2 weeks I have spent my days at home watching tv laying on the sofa and just trying to cram the minimal acceptable amount of work into the office days.

Whenever I get like this I tend to quit and/or move… I have lived in 5 houses in 4 years and at this moment I feel like I am trapped, not sure what to do with my life or even If I should continue web development.

Certainly cycling through periods of high functioning and low functioning phases is a common symptom for those with an illness but there is the obvious caution of medicalising mere personality traits. Given that it’s affecting your life in a significant way you should definitely talk to a professional about it. At the very least a counsellor, which may be enough in a “talking about and sharing it makes it better” way, but if not they can refer you to a psychiatrist.