I found out today that the good job I’ve had for the past 13 months is most likely going to evaporate by the end of the year (yeah, a classic $BIG_FAMOUS_CORP move–layoffs right before the holidays). I’ve been through this before and don’t know if I can go through it again.
I’ve had severe major depression and GAD/panic d/o since 2002–when I the really good job I took for granted evaporated out from under me.
My wife is divorcing me and being extra-shitty about it. (I very strongly suspect she has Borderline PD; and no, that’s not just some idiot layman talking, I worked at an outpatient psychiatric clinic for seven years before going into tech.) We’re trying to work out a physical separation agreement but in the meantime we’re “splitting” the house, each of us getting 7 out of 14 days with the house and kids.
Yeah, the kids. Their Christmas was gonna be shitty anyhow because the wife’s divorce money is coming entirely from my paycheck, as all of the wife’s money has come entirely from my paycheck for the past 13 years.
I was already starting to panic over split-household financing when, yet again, the rug gets yanked out from under my feet. (This will be my 4th layoff in 14 years.) Now I’m facing the very real prospect of trying to squeeze four middle-class livings out of one unemployment check.
I am so fucked I can’t even say. Every time I start to get back on my feet again—landing a great new job after two years in hell, starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel w.r.t. the divorce&mdashthe floor vanishes out from under me.
I am beginning to think that there is a very real $DEITY somewhere with a very strong grudge against me. It’s histrionic to say I’m feeling like Job, but it’s the truth, so I guess I’m histrionic.
Jesus Buddha Mary Allah Kali Athena
STOP. IT. NOW. Keep knocking me down like this and one day, one day REALLY soon, I will simply not bother to get up.