The question is: if you could do so, would you?
I don’t like shoveling snow, so I hire a plowing service. I am perfectly able-bodied and have the time, I just don’t care to do it. Moreover, shoveling snow or washing dishes are relatively trivial tasks. You work from home so I can’t say that you spend more time at your job than you do at home, but, do the math: assuming you sleep 8 hours every day and work 8 hours a day, boom, there goes 35% of your time not spent sleeping is spent on work. Dishes comparatively take up how much time out of your day?
To be honest, I really don’t get why this is a controversial point of view. If you can eliminate some shit you don’t like from your life, why not?
Why wouldn’t I, when I’ve suffered from it for at least 15 years?
But from the description of the project that you loathe, you have valid reasons to loathe it. Are you suggesting that you would enjoy what you were doing if you were not depressed? Because it sounded like you just hate it because it legitimately sucks. But if you’re arguing that you would be OK with your job if your depression were out of the equation, then disregard what I say.
I don’t see how it has to be that dire necessarily, if at all. You can make the transition from one job to another a smooth one if you’d like; line up the next gig before you leave the at which you presently are. Again, I don’t see how leaving a job you dislike is irrational if you have a reason to dislike it and don’t merely dislike it because you don’t feel good in general. You said the code base was whack. Again, can you imagine the not-depressed you feeling motivated to work on said project?
What’s “irrational”? We humans rarely make decisions based solely on cold, hard logic. Our decision-making process is always biased, relative our current mood. We can make bad decisions based on unchecked optimism and faith just as much as pessimism and despair. And even a cold, calculating decision can lead to an outcome that is inferior to an emotional decision’s outcome.
Can you think of things you’d rather be doing, code-wise or otherwise? Can you think of a hypothetical project that would appeal to you? If you can, I would argue that your resentment toward your job is stoking your depression, rather than the other way around.
I don’t remember saying that I was still looking. I haven’t been. I glanced at some jobs a while back to see if there was anything that I might want to do. I haven’t applied for anything. I don’t even consider myself interested in software development anymore as a hobby or a career. I’m looking for a completely different way to make a living.
In fact I believe someone replied to me that I only disliked my job because I was depressed, that my job “wasn’t the real problem”, but I think they are dead wrong. I have passions, and I would at least attempt to turn them into careers if I knew how to make them profitable. I just don’t like coding anymore, and am depressed because it’s all I know how to do to make money and am more or less “trapped” in it. You sound similarly trapped – maybe not in the career in its entirety but definitely the specifics of that career at this present time, but who am I to say?
Well, then. It’s settled. I would be great on a suicide prevention hotline.