Do others experience fear, pain, rage, sadness, depression as a result of being a developer?

Hi all,

I’m interested in knowing if there are others here who experience pain, rage, sadness, depression as a direct result of being a developer.

This year I’ve discovered that I have a condition called TMS/PPD. Basically, my unconscious rage has been causing me pain, sadness and depression. Over the past few years I have had what I thought was “structural” problems with my wrists, back, neck, shoulders, etc. as I was in a lot of pain while coding.

I came across this blog post and it literally changed my life:

It mentions a book by Dr. John Sarno, The Mindbody Prescription -

I read (listened via Audible) the book in 1 day and that very evening, I knew what had been causing my pain. 2 days later I read the followup The Divided Mind -

They have drastically helped me understand that what I bury or dismiss instead of face the feelings about (get pissed off, cry, be annoyed, etc.) that I have when something happens.

As a result of the books, I turned to journaling my current frustrations, concerns, worries, insecurities, etc. to help me face the feelings. Basically, I just think of anything that can be contributing to my current mood and start writing about it and within a few minutes, I find I’m “facing” those negative emotions and bringing them to the surface (and out of my unconscious).

It’s complicated to explain and sounds whacky, but once you experience it you will understand.

That history brings me to my question that I’ve posed in the subject.

I find that being a developer dealing with bugs, I often generate rage by not being able to figure out a bug or solution and have found that it contributes to having pain (although I’ve learned to recognize it and journal about it - part of the treatment recommended in the books - and it usually goes away), sadness and depression.

Do others find that being a developer and constantly being faced with bugs and features that you do not have an immediate solution for makes you angry, sad or depressed?

Do you find that you have fear as a result of this because of the spiral effect if you can’t figure out the bug or solution and what the consequences could be?

I’m interested also to hear from others who have TMS/PPD and are aware of Dr Sarno’s concepts and how it may have helped you as a developer.

I’m also willing to answer any questions regarding TMS and my experience.


Personally, I only get to rage when working on bug fixes if I insistently continue to beat on the problem long after I’ve reached my limit of frustration tolerance instead of stepping away and taking a break.
What creates anger, depression, and all the other crippling issues for me is when something is obviously broken and having a significant impact on things and everyone around me, most especially management, wont let it be fixed. It’s willful stupidity and disinterest in fixing obvious problems while still complaining about their results that get to me so much. I tend to carry it in my back rather than my arms/wrists though.