I’m not sure I should post this here, but since I’m a dev and this is dev-related, I need to at least get this off my chest.
So, I’m working at this company as a Web/UI developer (technically), but I’m really full-stack if you want to know the truth. I have been at this company for around 5 months now and am doing my first major project for these guys.
It seems like its one thing after the other with this project and it all seems related to my work. However, I have to say that the issues they found with my work is all db related, which I have no control over - we have dbas and my lead handles the procs and stuff.
However, I feel as if there is a ton of pressure on me and as if i’m not doing good enough.
I was trying to help them debug an issue that made it over to prod today but the s/w worked fine on my machine and I couldn’t determine what would cause the issue they were having. basically, one of my pages, on prod, work fine some of the time, but most of the time it doesn’t load.
After I reported my findings and let my lead know that I was leaving, he emailed me telling me that “unfortunately” he just fired off a ticket to me with another bug on one of my other pages. I’m not sure what “unfortunately” means in this case. but I just feel like I’m putting the project behind schedule. It was supposed to go live yesterday and QA is finding bugs in production.
I’m doing the absolute best that I can and am putting forth all the effort I possibly can. I want nothing more than for this project to go off without a hitch, but it seems like its full of issues. The other dev’s work is perfect.
Which leads me to my topic - I feel like I’m not going to be any good at this s/w development stuff. I have done great things in the past, but this project has been terrible for me. I think I’m better off dead, to be honest. I thought about buying a gun tonight and just ending it all. I can’t live like this. I can’t do this. /sigh /sigh /sigh