I came across this forum a while ago when I was going through tougher times and it has been of great help. Things got a bit better after I started seeing a therapist, but not as good as I would like them to be, especially at work. I’m creating this topic because things took a turn for the worst last Friday and ended up quitting my job quite abruptly after a heated argument with my boss. This wasn’t the first time it happened, though. He has also singled me out in front of my peers on stand ups several times. Too many, actually. He doesn’t treat others the same way he treats me. Others miss requirements all the time, but he snaps if it’s me. All this has caused me a great deal of stress and anxiety and my boss and supervisor know it. On our last argument, as soon as my boss started raising his voice I stopped him and said that I didn’t appreciate his tone and language, and to find another one to do the work if he’s going to talk to me like that. He then said okay twice while pointing at the door, so I took my things and left. Some time later my supervisor called me asking if I had quit because he went to my desk and I wasn’t there. He was in the room when all of this happened. I told him that I don’t want to quit and wouldn’t have done so under normal circumstances. He then told me to send him an email indicating if I’m quitting or not.
I’m not sure about what to do. I was involved on a few projects that need to be completed within the next few weeks. I thought it would be fair to give them some time to find a replacement and complete the projects that are still pending. But I’m afraid my boss won’t accept these terms and fire me for leaving the office without notice. I can’t afford that to happen.
On the other hand, I have been thinking of leaving this company for a while, even moving back to where I used to live. In fact, I applied to a few jobs and started the interview process on 3 of them. Two of them are in the same city I live; the other one is in the state I used to live before relocating to where I live now. I’ve lived here for a year and a half and it has been hell for me ever since. I made the move because my girlfriend at the time wanted to start a business here and I wanted to be with her. I applied at a job here and got hired, so we packed our things and left. Long story short, things didn’t work out for me at that job, things didn’t work out for her with the business, and things didn’t work out between us. I took my current job because it looked promising at first, but it has been quite disappointing. Other than work there’s nothing keeping me in this city. I have no friends here, no family, no attachments, or anybody to talk to in my native language. Looking at the bright side, I’m making more money now, live in a nice neighborhood, there’s a lot of opportunities in what I want to focus, and the city is growing despite the recession. However, it seems like this city has a lot to offer only if you’re from India, which I’m not, and I feel like a fish out of water here.
Back to the reason why I started this topic, the owners of the company I work for are from India and so is everyone else in my team. Miscommunication has been an ongoing issue since English is not my native language and neither is theirs. I don’t know exactly how software engineers are treated in India, but I’ve heard it’s a lot different than here in the U.S. They definitely see software engineering a lot different than how I or other people I know see it. If I decide not to quit, I fear things won’t change for the better. If I decide to quit and work somewhere else in this city, I fear it will be more of the same since more than half of the software engineers within the largest employers here are from India. It is not my intention to sound like a bigot when I say this and I’m sorry if I sound like one, but I think the issues I have at work are more cultural than anything else because management in this company seems to be more lenient with everyone else.
I’m feeling hopeless! Should I jump off the sinking ship or should I stay and drown?