Feeling like losing my time on a company


#1

Hi … I am 26 .
I graduated as a computer engineer on september 2015 and I worked 6 months for the university doing PHP in 2014 . I felt really good doing php but the salaries seemed to be low for php devs (by that time I thought the mony was important).
In the university I really liked algorithms and AI topics , but I also liked Software engineering . I took the software engineering area because I wanted to develop my own startup at the end of the university . Most of the career was focused on electronics and software engineering so by the time I took AI I was with a bad level on algorithms.
I started to look for a job at the end of 2015 and landed on a company on march of 2016 as a part of a development program on IT which was designed to work in multiple areas like dev , business analyst , architect and scrum each 6 months .
The first 6 months I developed on Android (I hate native movile development) in fact I was part of a team which won an online hackathon for the company.
Then I worked 2 weeks as BA and suddenly the company sent me to a training of 2 months to another country with everything paid on a software engineering academy .
Once I returned I took 3 months on a java project as an agile coach to apply all the learnings of the training. But none of the things I proposed could success due to the lack of maturity of our software projects .
Now Im on architecture in charge on setting standards of technologies which I´m not a master , not even a junior dev .
Everyday I have the idea of creating new startups … many people just say to me “great idea !” and that idea dies in my head.
I would like to be capable of coding every idea that I want but I feel that the people have put so much trust in my that I can´t quit the company . My future in the company is clear : 4 more months in architecture + 6 months as scrum and then I don´t know , I think the idea is that I finish working as a Scrum master which I really don`t like . But even if the company gives me a dev job I will end coding old things like java , but I would like to try LAMP stack .

On weekends I try to code but at the end I surrender to the idea that Im in a company in which I need to stay at least 10 months more . 10 months spending my time on things I really don´t like . And also my economic situation is quite hard .

This weekend I could not even code 1 line … and I got to the conclusion that I´m blocked due to the fear of knowing nothing that could allow me to quit the job and help my family with the economic situation and accomplish my idea of startup which is by now only on postits of a kanban in my room.

I have a problem of procrastination and for me is hard to take a decision.


#2

Doing stuff outside of work comes up a lot but I suspect for a lot of people that’s just not feasible or enjoyable. Go home and do more work?! Sometimes it’s just best to look after yourself instead - go home and just recharge doing things you enjoy. I personally can’t do any coding outside of work for fun especially as I want to spend my down time with my family. I’m not some medium.com superblogger who lounges around pools in the far east blogging about the virtues of remote working… And it’s fine, I accept that.

It sounds like your company is mixing it up for you and exposing you to a lot of different things - that’s probably a good opportunity to find out what you like and don’t like. In a few years, you’ll have some experience under your belt and hopefully that opens up some doors for you so you can pick and choose more interesting work with better pay.