Update
I left anti depressives on my own decision on may . After that I hae serious problems with short term memory and concentration .
Little by little I started to felt better without meds and gaining confidence in myself .
Now I´m a little susceptible regarding issues with my family , at this point I have earned enough to quit and start my own startup .
I have problems related with my family . My family is miss behaving in certain ways after grandma and uncle passed away .
The do not want to visit a psychologist and most of their problems I deduce are related prior to these events but now everything is worst .
I really know that nothing can affect me unless I allow it but is really sad how people I love miss behave and only makes their life worst surrounded by people who only cares about their money .
I hope this is my last year in the company , probably I will take some months alone in the beach coding and having a calm life just with a computer , some books and great sea food .
I´m also miss behaving I have lost fear of almost everything but at the same time I feel free .
Most of the time I ask myself what is the meaning of life but for sure I won´t kill myself . I learnt from my grandmother and my uncle that even in the worst illness it is worth to fight .
The point of no return will be when I finish my last cent of savings . By that time I hope at least I can deliver my first version .
One of the best things in this journey was to revisit habits one at the time , when you accomplish a list of habits you regain confidence but the contrary happens when you do not accomplish them .