I’m new to this board. If I understand correctly, this is a place where developers can talk about depression. This topic is about a depressed individual talking about how to learn to program. If this isn’t the correct forum, you may delete it or I can delete it–just let me know, and I apologise, in advance.
So a quick intro: This isn’t my real name. My story, like many here I’m sure, is complicated. I’ve never talked about my depression (online or offline). My family really doesn’t know about it.
I’m 30 years old. I studied languages and literature at university and graduated around 3 years ago, but computers have always been my life.
I’ve always been depressed. My mother is schizophrenic and I suffered a couple traumatic experiences in my childhood, which I won’t get into here. After trying to get my career off the ground a few years ago, and failing miserably, I decided to learn about web development and how to program/script/code. I only started this year.
Question: how do you work up the desire to learn (in my case, programming) when you feel so down, out of it, or generally do not feel anything? I’ve also been told I think too much (I’m sure others have heard it, as well.)
I genuinely feel programming is something I like more than any other thing, career-wise. There are a couple other things, but I cannot really make a career out of them.
When programming, it is the only time I’ve experienced a so-called ‘flow’ (psychologically speaking). But even then, I snap out of it. I get unmotivated by other things happening in my life. I feel everything in my life is wrong. It doesn’t help that I’m “overworked, underpaid” and close to being poor, if not poor if you consider debt.
Other questions: How did you start off programming? What motivated you? What resources did you seek? How did you work that into having a full-time job?
Again, if this is not the right forum, I will not get offended if this is deleted and I will search elsewhere for a resource.
Thank you for all your feedback.