I recently join devpressed, and I read quite a bit of posts I can relate to. I was wondering what are (or were) some of your experiences starting out in this field? To give you a little bit more context, here is a little bit of information about me.
I have been in therapy since January for depression and anxiety. I have had an extremely hard time landing my first developer job after graduation (about a year), and have been working there in R&D for over a year now. Every day I feel like I am terrible at what I do, every day is a struggle at work, and I am genuinely starting to think I picked the wrong profession… despite loving it during uni. My health is negatively affected due to the stress, and I don’t seem to fit in very much with coworkers…
I never have received an negative feedback so far, but my manager has permanently put me “on loan” to other product + r&d teams since we are very short staffed. Most projects i start working on get killed of by management before finishing them with little warning. I don’t feel like I am very productive at all, as there is always a huge learning curve, since each team is working on something drastically different. I have not seen anything through to the end so far because of this.
I have been thinking about working elsewhere, but I don’t feel like I’ve done anything worthwhile over the past year to impress any recruiter with my resume. I also don’t want to be labeled a job hopper for leaving after barely a year. But I don’t want to stay where I am now, because I feel like having a panic attack every time I come in to work, or pop a vein in frustration. Does this get easier? Are most workplaces like this? I kinda want to leave before anyone figures out I don’t know what I’m doing after all this time … But I don’t know if I’ll end up in the same situation again.
How was it for you? Any advice?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.