Thanks. Even with depression and anxiety, I have always been a very determined person.
As far as my wife not letting me do things, she has told me that I have to stay in my career because that’s the one I chose and that’s the one I’m stuck with. She said that I should have sorted that out before we had kids.
I only knew her for six months before we got married. That’s incredibly fast, in my opinion. And, we met on yahoo personals (in 2006).
My wife is controlling and has her own share of anxiety issues. She did not outright say she was going to leave if I got fired (which I don’t think I am), but she said that she can’t keep doing this. She blamed all of the issues I’ve had at my jobs (two were legitimately toxic workplaces) on me and said that I needed to let her know my strategy so that this won’t happen again.
She told me that she is a codependent because her happiness depends on me being happy. Neither of us do drugs or consume alcohol.
She’s four years older than me.
With any human interaction, communication is key.
She’s also a different religion than me, and one I didn’t know about until I met her. It’s one that believes all the main figures in each faith is a manifestation of God.
Yesterday was our 9 year wedding anniversary. She asked me, “Nine years is a long time, huh?” I just replied that it isn’t a long time.
There also was this time she surprised me when I got home from work years ago. She was sitting on the back porch kind of down in the dumps. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she felt emotionally alone.
She wound up buying a book on love languages. She figured she was acts of service and that I was quality time. I took the test in the back of the book and came out
Gifts, but she insisted that I took the test wrong.
We seem to be more like a business than a married couple.
Oh, and she told me once that I’m like a woman because I like to talk on the phone and cook. Then she told me I needed to act like her dad, brother, and ex-brother in law (they are roughnecks and insensitive).
Oh, and another thing while I’m thinking about it, back when we moved in together, I was looking up what it would take for me to get my masters in music composition and she made a snide comment, “Oh, don’t tell me you are one of those people who doesn’t know what they want to do.” I immediately turned that site off and said no.
She said it took her a while to get used to my personality.
I think this crisis, which I think is resolving itself, has exposed the weaknesses in my marriage, and it is very possible that all of this stemmed from my marriage and not the job.