I'm in a weird spot with my job


#1

Due to my past depression issues I’m in a weird spot with my job.

My issues (when not on meds) are: attention deficit, tiredness and irregular sleep. I think the sleep thing is connected with my IBS-C (irregular bowel syndrome) - I’m sometimes sleepy or just extremely tired during the day, sometimes I’m wide awake at night etc, which leads to non-24 circadian rhythm (usually about 25-26h).

I used to work in-office for 160h, then it went to 120hours a month, then I started working remotely, then it went down to 80h, and then it went to ~60h. I’m paid by the hour. My employer was patient about it, we had some discussions and they tried to adapt. I must have been a valuable employee.

Now I work remotely (even though office is only 8km away), and I contact with my employer/PM mostly by mail and task management sites.

1.5 month ago I started doing Wellbutrin XR again, but this time only 150 and with hydroxyzine for sleep (I was on WB XR 300 a year ago, and it was too much for my heart, I was too irritable and I was still sleeping irregularly). It seems to work well now, my sleep cycle got almost regular, I can concentrate better, and sleepiness during the day is not as bad as it used to be. It’s not perfect, but, you know, it’s certainly a decent progress.

Thing is, recently there is less tasks than I could be doing - I have to ask for anything to do, and then if I have any questions I have to wait at least a full day for an answer. I feel like I spend more time asking and waiting than developing things. Basically, they are only giving me tasks that involve things that I worked previously on, because it would take longer to anyone else. I’m usually working with integrating our clients with specific program, but I guess our new clients don’t need that.

It’s not like they don’t have things to be done - they are currently looking for new employees.

I tried telling them that I recently feel better, am more reliable and available every day from 2pm or earlier, they said it’s cool and stuff, but it didn’t really help.

My problem is: I don’t have any money left. I need at least 80-90 hours of work, but it looks like I will accumulate at most 60-70 again. I’m already below 0 at the end of the month.

Plus my current job really burns me out: the tasks are mundane and not rewarding and I’m not learning anything new.

I tried looking for any remote or non-160hours job, but I can’t find any. I’m playing with the idea of finding a new regular job, but I’m afraid whether I would be up to it. I guess it would be enough of motivation to adjust my sleep schedule if it’s almost working without any external pressure at all. Maybe my IBS could be contained if I would be cautious. But I’m just not sure.

I feel really stuck.

Have you been in a similar situation? Any advices or ideas?


#2

That’s a really specific situation, to be honest there probably aren’t very many people here who have experienced something similar.

Does your employer understand that you need more work from them in order to stay afloat, financially? I mean it sounds like they’ve been understanding so far.

I don’t really have any useful advice but it bothered me that you put all of this out there and no one replied.


#3

Yeah, it kind of pisses me off too. The guy needed help, and he got 4 days with no replies.

I don’t have any reliable advices either, but maybe some ideas.

I guess that if you have free time sometimes, you could try to work on something else, maybe doing some work on a site like freelancer.com or alike (I hate freelancer.com though).

I’m not in the situation of not having enough money, but I am in the situation of spending great deals of time waiting to be assigned some task and it sucks balls.

I usually use that time to do something else, like journal therapy, or developing my own projects. I might even start doing freelance jobs at work because I need the money.

I hope things work out for you!


#4

Hey guys, thanks for replies and kind words :). Sorry I didn’t respond earlier, but I forgot about this topic.
It looks like this website isn’t very active, I guess it targets too specific group?

Anyway, it got a bit better this week, as there were some new tasks for me - they brought me in to another project eventually. I’m still not sure how permanent this change is, maybe it was just because it’s already late.

I send some applications before that, got invited to few interviews, but then turned them down, as I started getting tasks again. I feel stable on current medications, but I still don’t know if I’m ready to transition to work in office.


#5

Well, glad to hear that.

Update if something else comes up. Have a good day.