Hi guys, glad to meet this awesome site and be able to read all your threads and share my story with you.
So, my story begins with me, being a guy with 30 years old, in an industry that i love, with no degree and yet presented with an opportunity that few had the privilege to achieve - working for a “sexy” IT company that shines in every resume. Im working there for almost 6 months and i have to say, the first 3 months were very good. I was happy, thrilled, feeling productive and getting along very well with my team. The layout of our working environment is an open space filled up with at least 50+ colleagues. The tasks i am working on are purely debugging and fixing problems on our website and infrastructure.
For the last 2 months i have been presented with tasks that even though i felt i was not ready, i still made an effort to prove myself and others that i was capable to deliver and i did it. But because of that i sacrificed a lot. I became more stressful and anxious, making me to distance myself from my colleagues and now im feeling weird around them, exhausted and my mood is dropping by the day. I work along with very young and talented people in their mid 20´s. As you can imagine the workplace seems more like a kindergarten and sometimes for me is very hard to focus. The headaches im having are becoming an issue. Any dumb playful disturbance annoys me and i really dont know what to do. I can´t rely on my team leaders (they contribute a lot with the office noise and allow it) and for what i saw they dont have a support and helpfull way to deal with this kind of situations. I often hear them openly mocking about everyones code and playful blaming everyone by their little mistakes. Even playful, it´s not pleasant. I think it´s their way to show how cool and informal our company is!
Lately im literally shutting down in my world, with my music, googling a lot and trying to get things done. I feel my colleagues are resenting my “behavior” and im beginning to feel set aside. I like my team though.
Well, to summarize this, im learning from this experience, i can´t say otherwise but things are getting exhausting, mental and physical. It´s like you are expected to deliver high quality code while being socially awesome and entertaining all the time! There is no middle ground and if you try to set boundaries, things get weird!
Thank you for reading!