Just got let go from the best job I've ever had

depression
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Got let go from a job I’ve had for over 3 years, I was their second employee but first developer outside the CTO who I worked with really closely. I’ve had similiar issues in the past but I thought this time would be different because I actually enjoyed coding Ruby on Rails. But nope, I do mostly good for the first two and a half years and then tank in the 3rd. I had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life dragging me down plus the larger the company got the less control I had over what I could code and the technical debt was starting to really frustrate me. I also didn’t really understand the value of our product after we pivoted but I liked the people I was working with.

Ironically my coworkers all loved me because I would normally drop whatever I was doing to help them. I’ve already have several of them contact me to say they were stunned and want to stay friends, so that was at least nice. But since I also have ADD them interrupting me probably didn’t help my performance. On top of that I felt like the only night owl because I would basically be abandoned at the office past 5 which didn’t make me want to really stay.

I’m not really that worried about finding another job (tell that to my anxiety). The market is kind of crazy right now around me so I should be able to get something. I guess I’m just mostly disappointed in myself. I would say I’m a pretty good programer but I have a problem with drive. Sometimes I’ll get in the zone and work 70 hours in a week and another i’ll be all depressed and work 30. It also didn’t help that our project manager kept looking for my shoulder to catch me on reddit. But I built stuff that was legitimately good and worked really well, I just couldn’t do it every week and I don’t know why…

I also feel a little let down by my former employers, I took a really big risk on them and it didn’t really pay off monetarily. In fact I turned down much higher paying offers from 3 other companies. I guess the only solace is that I do feel like a better developer than when I started. They have given me a decent severance but it isn’t like I can really take a vacation, I’ll be spending all that time finding work. I wouldn’t have taken this job if my brother wasn’t involved with them and got me onboard. He is even on the board of directors but I guess I can’t really blame him, it isn’t like he had anything to do with it. I feel like I let him down.

I just wish I could find a product I really believed in. I know I’m smart, I just need to be inspired…

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Thanks for sharing.

Your situation is so similar to mine.

I’ve work for web agencies and had a tough time dealing shitty code and technical debt. I’ve tried to make it as a consultant but I need structure. So i’ve worked for startups for the last 9 years because a small team with a good product and a fast-paced company culture seems like a good fit for me.

[quote=“canuck, post:1, topic:1047”]
Got let go from a job I’ve had for over 3 years, I was their second employee but first developer outside the CTO who I worked with really closely. I’ve had similiar issues in the past but I thought this time would be different because I actually enjoyed coding Ruby on Rails.[/quote]

I’m also a RoR developer. I had a similar experience with my previous startup.

First year developing the product was great. Then when we had issues scaling on the 2nd year and the 3rd year was hell. I was totally burnt out.

[quote=“canuck, post:1, topic:1047”]
Ironically my coworkers all loved me because I would normally drop whatever I was doing to help them.[/quote]

Same thing here. I get interrupted with questions all the time. Makes it real hard to focus on my priorities.

I’ve experienced that too. I don’t manage boredom very well. I need to be engaged with what i’m doing and a little bit of pressure/challenge helps.

[quote=“canuck, post:1, topic:1047”]
I would basically be abandoned at the office past 5 which didn’t make me want to really stay.[/quote]

I’m the only night owl here. Mostly because I need 2-3 hours of quiet time to get things done. I have a hard time coming in before 9:30am.

[quote=“canuck, post:1, topic:1047”]
I took a really big risk on them and it didn’t really pay off monetarily. In fact I turned down much higher paying offers from 3 other companies. I guess the only solace is that I do feel like a better developer than when I started. They have given me a decent severance[/quote]

That’s the startup life. Don’t blame yourself. I’m currently working for my 3rd startup.

1st one went bankrupt after a nice pivot while I was on vacation. 2nd one let me go with 4 other employees with no severance… nada. I worked a sh!t load of overtime for these guys because I cared and felt I would let the team down if I didn’t deliver. In the end, I pretty much wasted a year a my life. They had no problem letting me go with nothing. Loyalty ? Hard work ? It meant nothing.

I’m mad that it ended that way but on the plus size, I got a nice 50% salary increase at my current position and I’m working with a much better team.

Don’t feel bad. Take the time you need to find a good fit and work on your priorities.

It’s ok to limit your hours and take care of yourself. That’s what I’m working on with my therapist. I need to be better at setting limits for myself. You don’t have to work 70 hours a week if you’re paid for 40 and you don’t have to say yes to every request coming your way.

Believe me, your next job will be the best one you’ve ever had.

Good luck.

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Man, I’ve been there. I got “let go” because they thought I posted a negative Glassdoor review. (I didn’t.) It’s really hard not to feel like I could have done more. I loved the people I worked with, but in the end the management was crap and they made crap decisions regarding most things. Made the whole experience unpleasant. In all actuality it was a blessing in disguise. I too have issues with drive/inspiration quite frequently (due to depression and ADHD, but also general boredom once I feel I’ve “conquered” a subject/task) and something that helped me was finding a job where I could work on a few things at once. I spend most of the day hopping between tasks which works well. I’m not always inspired by the work, but at least I have other options if a specific task bores me. It took a while to find it, but those things exist.

(I also work at a RoR shop and we’re hiring. Wouldn’t normally advertise that but it seems fitting here. Mods: please remove if inappropriate.)

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Not inappropriate to post jobs if you feel good about their support of mental wellness. Would like to avoid recruiters doing so. We know you tho :wink: