I know it can be easy to rule out some outside support but it sounds like you could use someone to vent and brainstorm about possible paths or changes. I know when finances are involved, it gets even more tangled emotionally + stress wise.
It’s rough that you’re so isolated for like-minded community. Do you think there would be others interested if you started a meet-up? That could be overwhelming for your anxiety though (I know it would be for me…)
Perhaps connecting online could be a good starting point to find a mentor or others interested in collaborating on open source or like-minded projects? I don’t have any specific suggestions for the areas you listed but maybe there is a sub-reddit or Twitter hashtag that could unite it all.