Paranoia and depression: fired recently

bipolar
1

I was recently fired from a senior developer job. I’ve been a developer for 6 years, mostly working at financial companies in the UK.

I feel like I have a really good work ethic as I force myself to work in pretty much any circumstances.

What happened was I forced myself into work when I was basically unconcious. They sent me home and fired me the next day.

They said they were happy with my work apart from my illness. I had taken a couple of days off but pretty much worked through everything.

I suffer from psychosis which includes pretty extreme paranoia. I’m not on any medication for it specifically. I take antidepressants because these help me sleep.

I also suffer from depression. My diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder.

I seem to be finding it more difficult to land a new job now. I’ve had feedback that I’ve had too many jobs in a short space of time. (3 jobs in the past 12 months.)

I’ve been referred to the pyschiatrist to look at medication again, but this will take 3 months.

To be honest, I’ve been through so many jobs now that I find it hard not to be cynical about the places I work. It’s difficult to disguise apathy at interview although I try my best to pysch myself up for the companies I’m applying for.

I honestly don’t care and just want money so I can live.

I’m thinking of quitting the industry and getting a job in retail. It seems like a shame because of all the time and effort that went into learning my skills and making connections with people.

What I’m doing right now is applying for sickness/disability benefits. I had some success claiming these in the past but it’s not a great life strategy. I really need a job.

Anyone gone through similar? Would like to hear your story.

2

I can only suggest to try the retail job , give it a try and see if you like it , if not try another thing . Do not obsess with coding unless is something you really desire . Maybe you have not found the job that fits you . Do not think you are the problem at all .

3

I have a diagnosis of schizoeffective disorder and bipolar, adhd. Because of the number of hospitalizations and other psych issues I ended up getting disability. To get a good amount of money from disability you have to have 12 years where you made over 12 thousand I think. I made much over that because I had a good oilfield job and construction jobs. So my disability pays my rent and all utilities and depending on how much you get your insurance Medicare plan can give you an extra 250 towards grocery’s and bills. I’m buying a nice refurbished laptop this week and starting to learn assembly language. Keep trying for disability the thing is once they know your symptoms and diagnosis is real you will get it quickly. The reason I got it so quickly is so many inpatient psych stays self harm. Disability is not an end all answer but it can give you time and money to get therapy and the right meds and if you feel good enough new skills. It sounds good but can be ever challenging. Just don’t give up