Hey my first post here. I need to vent and also looking for some advice what to do next. Thanks for reading!
I started as a Java developer, quickly worked my way up to senior level (at least that’s how I was being refered to… as a senior Java dev). I was working on huge corporate systems such as trading platforms, banking and energy & utility. I have never really picked up anything regarding business domain knowledge. Projects came and go. Every project used a different technology stack. Well, not completely different but different enough to require some initial, non-negligible effort. So my spare time was mostly spent learning all those stacks and then discarding them when switching project. I was doing fine, performance reviews were always good. But at certain point I recognized I remember nothing. I mean I can tell if code is bad and I know some architectual patterns but the constantly shifting technology and the omnipresent “just another cog in the wheel” syndrome was slowly destroying me inside.
The systems I was bulding were truly massive and the older I was getting the more overwhelmed I felt. At certain point I said fuck this. I can not continue like this. There is no future ahead, just dispair and neverending hours of relearning technology and incredibly massive codebases…
So I took some time off and discovered world of mobile apps. I have always been fond of Apple products and with flat design one can create a nicely looking mobile apps without being graphic designer. So I spent few months working on an iOS app. The plan was to submit it on appstore and then find a job as iOS developer. I was having lots of fun and was feeling alive again. I didn’t need to solve convoluted integrations with 3rd party systems, didn’t need to configure plethora of services just to get that bloody thing up and running. It was truly refreshing and wonderful. Then Apple rejected my app submission because it supposedly didn’t adhere to their newly updated guidelines and my dream was crushed. I tried to talk to them and find out what was wrong with my app but to no avail. So months of work gone just like that.
Knowing I can not deal with Java projects anymore I decided to learn Python. A friend of mine got me a job but the project I got is a really old legacy system giving me some bad Java flashbacks from my past.
At this point I feel I can not continue anymore. The ever switching technology stacks and the current information explosion where dev is required to know so much that relying on stackoverflow and such is an absolute necessity leave me bitter and confused. I think software development is a dead end job. I think this wasn’t always the case but the information overload, super long hours and mostly the impression that software is cheap and easy to do (for many $0.99 price tag on appstore is outrageous and all apps should be free) leave me bitter.
I need to leave this cursed field for good but I can’t. I have to pay the bills and all my free time was spent learning technology just to discard it a few months later. Totally wasted time.
I am depressed and I have no idea what to do. If I continue I will be more and more depressed and who knows what will happen. If I don’t I will probably become homeless I guess. I have formal (university) education in computer science but teaching is not an option. Here basically everyone teaches and it’s super tough to get a job in this department. I know I didn’t give you much to work with but anything will help.