Trying to break out feels hopeless

bipolar
1

So, I just graduated from college a week ago with a degree in software development, but the career outlook seems completely hopeless. For background: I live in Wisconsin, I’m trying to move to Seattle, but anything I’m even moderately qualified for requires local applicants. There aren’t jobs in my area at all. The closest thing would be a 1 1/2 hour commute. It’s kind of been a dream to move to Seattle anyways, but even there it seems like there’s nothing I’ll be able to get. I had an internship, that lasted for about a year and a half, but it seems like I might as well have not had any experience at all.

Where this ties into bipolar: I recently started taking seroquel for Type II Bipolar Disorder, and I’m not sure it’s for me. Cycling seems to happen every couple of days. There’s a day or two where I feel near high, I don’t even sleep because I feel like it’s a waste of time, and that’s generally when I fill out applications (of which I’ve heard back on 0), then there’s a day or two of incredible irritability. Just being around people makes me angry, anything pushes me beyond reasonable limits. Then once that’s over there’s about a week of bottoming out.

I know I probably won’t even get an e-mail back on anything I applied to, but even if I did it seems like I wouldn’t last 5 minutes working with how up and down everything is.

I guess this just turned more into a rant, but I’m also looking for some kind of words of advice. Psychiatrists are in short supply around here, and getting help means making an appointment 6 months in advance. I don’t know where I’m going with any of this. Is there really any hope for anything, or did I just over extend myself and ruin everything.

2

The mood variations sound like me. Take heart i’ve been working in programming and IT for twelve years despite the mood problems, and those haven’t stopped me yet from getting ahead in my career. All i can say is you have to stay in the game and things will start working out.

3

Are you absolutely set on moving to Seattle? I would recommend getting more experience first if you don’t seem to be getting a response - maybe another internship, an apprenticeship, or doing freelance work online? I know that there are many companies hiring in my hometown of Chicago, so if you were willing to relocate somewhere else before trying for a job for Seattle that may be a more successful strategy.

Any bipolar drug will take a while for you to see its full effects, but you should definitely speak with your psychiatrist if you don’t feel like the Seroquel is helping. Did you wait 6 months the first time in order to get the prescription? That does sound bad:(

In addition to taking Seroquel I’d recommend regular exercise and sticking to a regular sleep schedule. Those things seemed to have worked for me; at least I’ve been stable for 4 years now.

4

I guess being 100% honest, living in Seattle is more important to me than being a dev. I’d prefer something in IT, but It’s more about just living in that area, as long as whatever I’m doing pays the bills.