Sort of at a crossroads after 22 years of programming and wondering what to do next (and having lots of anxiety about it).
I started out as employee in one company where I stayed for 15 years. Could have been a mistake to stay that long, not sure. But the company got bought up and I got to have many different development roles, as well as team lead, architect.
Then I started my own small consulting company and looked for assignments, as I was hoping for repeated shorter assignments that could keep me motivated. Wasn’t easy to find. Managed to land two assignments for a total of about 7 years. Still felt like an employment, motivation dropped.
Now after the last assignment I’ve been on a “break” for 5 months trying to figure stuff (and myself) out. I had plans to make all kinds of apps, make courses and whatnot, but most of it stayed in the plan stage. I feel too restless to sit down and do stuff, my mind starts to wander to not so good places. Instead I have walked, run, biked, very long distances. Hasn’t helped motivation.
Now money starts to be an issue (as I knew it would), depleting my company savings. So an offer came up for a 6 mo assignment, with interview today. Didn’t get a very good impression immediately…huge, old codebase, not a clear team to work with (as most people are moving elsewhere shortly). Pay is good though. They want a response early next week.
When I took a look at the cubicle spaces I just couldn’t see myself spending 8 hours a day in that chair. I have suspected before that I have a form of ADHD, but never diagnosed. Have an appointment next week though, that I scheduled in panic before the interview.
I just don’t know…should it be this hard? Would I be better off in another profession? If I live frugally I could probably take part in some education for half a year, that could maybe lead to a career change.
Anyone have any ideas or that has been in the same spot?