I don’t know why I’m frequently calling my father - or vice versa. I’m not taking the calls lately. We have our issues, always had. He’s a choleric person, due to his sloppiness he caused a family drama which had my mom to move from my safe haven (my grandma’s house) to a redneck town back in the eighties. This caused my first suicidal thoughts, I was eleven. My Mom, his wife died, he had to file for bankruptcy, has one money making idea after another, now he elaborates for hours (month/years) on end on one of…
String[] annoyingTopic = {"a book he wrote",
"some political issues",
"his brothers ignoring him",
"how wonderful our family life was",
"how I do not appreciate our family life",
"prostitutes taking over the appartment building he lives in",
"how his aprentices are thankful",
"me being not thankful" };He needs constant validation and tells me that I’m aggressive and non responsive, not caring. I can’t hear it anymore. Each weekend when I’m at home, I’m scared of him calling, then I’m scared of ignoring the call. He’s constantly telling me that I’m the one who got it all wrong. Feels like I’m stuck in and endless loop - I’m fed up with him. I’m 44 and still, he scares the shit out of me. I’m scared of he might overreact when I’m going to tell him I’m no longer interested in his shit, he overreacted in the past…
Hardest thing in life seems to know which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn. Sure I need to burn that one, but still I’m scared…