Who did you tell, and how did it go?

I wanted to start a topic that wasn’t based off of my need to rant, so I’m going to try this. Who did you tell about your depression (or related mental troubles) and how did it go? How did they react, and how did it help or hurt you? Could be a spouse, significant other, sibling, mentor, friend. On the flip side, who haven’t you told, and why?

I told my mom then she starts laughing then i start laughing too. Looks like I’m stuck with it alone
I can’t blame her, in our society depression is an act of weakness something to laugh at

Whom did I tell about my depression? Well, told my wife (she knew already), my GP (he was supportive), my Therapist (she was emphatic) and my dad (he is still ignoring).

Didn’t tell my colleagues. I suspect some of them guess what’s going on, but most don’t care as long as I’m <irony>fully functional</irony>. I suddenly feel a need to rant…

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This is an interesting question. It makes me think about this from another person’s perspective.

It really depends on the person and the people who you tell but I think there are universal truths.

Close people: Each parent/spouse will be different. Many people will understand, others won’t. It is important tailor your decision based on the individuals likely response. You can still talk with people about it like a counsellor.

For Work: if you want a pretty good reference on the workplace and have a laugh at the same time, the UK version of the office reflects many of the crazy and not so crazy truths of the work situation in the UK (and other places I am sure). I am sure the other versions do too but I never watched them.

One of the realities I think it was trying to show was when there was a fire alarm and there was a lady in a wheelchair and Brent bent down to her and he said: “We are going to get you out of here, alright?”. Ofcourse she is as intellectually capable as anyone. But it is true, if you are in a workplace, many many people will not treat you the same if they know you have a disability (even if it is depression, sometimes ESPECIALLY if it is a mental illness). They just don’t understand. They could well treat you as less capable in your work as well. I have seen people do this who I knew were in many ways smarter than I am. So it is not limited to imbecile bosses or certain fields.

I think it is also true that if you just have low self esteem people take you on your own estimation, it may just be instinctive for everyone. Not everyone overrides this. This is initially demoralising to realise but actually it is an opportunity because the opposite is also true. If you have confidence you can also get bias in the opposite direction. You can develop confidence by building yourself up over the years. One way to start is confidence hypnosis by someone like Paul McKenna. A little each day.

So I think it is a risk to tell your employer you have depression. However, I would consider it if I felt my line manager would understand and it wouldn’t affect me (it could even benefit you in this situation). But I would not put that I was disabled (depression or otherwise) on a job application for instance.

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Took me a while, but the first person I told was my GF, which was hard as I like to refrain from placing any more burden on her already. Then secondly, I told my BF, which just happened sheerly from breaking down in a middle of a conversation.

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I told my parents when I was really down, they told me they knew high buildings of which I can throw myself off

That is just out of line, I can’t believe someone would say that to you, let alone your own parents. Are they idiots? This pisses me off to no end.

Sorry to hear about your situation. It must be a tough spot, I hope you come out of it soon.

I think I revealed to my ex-gf (gf at the time) that I’m always depressed. At first, she took it with a grain of salt, since I was a happy person on the outside. But she had her slight suspicions. She didn’t understand how my depression sometimes can dictate my emotion and and mood in life, so she never took in consideration on my depression and pretended that part of me is nonexistent and not valid in her perception of me.

Later on, she realized that I was not kidding, but she couldn’t do much with it. I guess being depressed all the time around your significant other is something that definitely drains him or her. However, I tried my best to deal with it and enjoy our relationship. However, that attempt was in vain, since we broke up some time ago. We just couldn’t take it. Despite the depressing story, I now have someone who’s able to love me for who I am. This person comforts me and supports me in times of sadness.

As for who I have not told: I haven’t told my parents about my depression. After I went to college, they really stopped talking to me as much. Though I did bond with them more as an adult, I never found the opportunity or had the guts to tell them. I feared their judgement and “helpful” words (that’ll end up making everything worse). It’s silly but it’s something that I mentally can’t get over, so I won’t tell them anytime soon.