Hello! This is my second post and I wanted to ask something. Lately I’ve been really down and depressive and stuff and I thought I was becoming better as I got a little more happy. Like I could smile and other things. But then something came up. One night I felt something like a physical pain but in my stomach and I knew it was like emotion related because it was similar to when I’m stressed but different and more intense. I first thought it was an anxiety thing because I had difficulty to breath, like hyperventilation, but it was like I was so angry. I wanted to literally chop someone’s head off. Like I felt so angry I can’t even describe it. Then I calmed myself a little but this time, I wanted to hurt myself. Like really bad. There was like anger growing in my stomach like gradually. Something weird hit me then, like I thought it was just like a character in a book I read and it was like my “demons” growing into me. I was a little tired and crazy so it made sense but when I think back, it doesn’t really make sense that much. It has been, since then, reappearing randomly at any time of the day. It bothers me a lot that I just don’t know what the hell is happening to me. Since then, when it happens, I answer really angrily like for no reason and I just don’t know what the hell is happening. Please someone tell me what this is, thank you for reading this long-ass thing.
P.S.: By the way I’m fifteen and no, I wasn’t on my period if you were going to ask.
Sounds like a panic attack, see a doctor. As someone with expirence from hiring and managing, Most programmers tend to have emotional issues and are on multiple medications. I’d say 3 in 10 don’t at the shops I’ve managed.
I agree with @cauffe: it seems like you have something that has a physiological root cause. You should at least see a mental health professional and probably a medical professional as well. Until then, you can try meditation or regular exercise. When I’m stressed or frustrated, taking a few minutes to just walk away from it all, or sweating it out at the gym is the best thing I can do.
What happened right before you became so angry? It might be hard to remember it exactly, but it’s very important so try. The was a thought you had or something happened that brought the anger out.
Once you know what that was, you can work on unraveling why that particular thought created that reaction. This is not simple. I’ve found Dr. David Burns’s book " Feeling Good " very helpful in this regard. If you have access to a psychologist, definitely bring this event up to see if you can get to the root of the anger.